Eric Pickles, a Conservative M.P., used to be a Conservative Councillor in Bradford. Eric is actually a reasonable fellow.

The story goes that a Bradford Labour Councillor dies and goes to Heaven. Part of the induction process is an optional day trip to Hell. When you see the torments that others are deservedly facing in Hell, it helps you to enjoy Heaven all the more.

On the trip, the Labour Councillor is not surprised to see Eric resident in Hell. What is surprising is that Eric is sat in a comfortable armchair, with a very scantily clad young lady sat on his lap. Eric has a cigar in one hand, a glass of wine in the other, and is fondling the young lady with obvious enjoyment. He has a wide smile on his face.

"Well, Eric, I am not surprised to see you here. But this is supposed to be Hell"

The attractive young lady looks up.

"It is. He's my punishment!".